Porn is love you can see.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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