Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Blood and glitter go together right?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
