Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It's just like the Real World with babies
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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