I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
