Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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