i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
