super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
