Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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