yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
