Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm like, not good at living.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
