2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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