Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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