this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
