Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
