I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
