I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
