Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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