HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
