We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
