Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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