i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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