I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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