My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
