Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize