Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Randomize