whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
