Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
