im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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