Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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