I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
