I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
