There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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