4 words: hood of his car
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
