This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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