I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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