Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
