so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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