so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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