Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
