We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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