The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
