these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
where does the pee come out of this thing
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
