VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
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Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
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Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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