girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
