jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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