I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
