mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
