worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
