I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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