D3 body, D1 cock
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
