My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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