My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
