Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Randomize
