this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Come see our sink grown plant.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize