Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize