It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
