Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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