Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
