I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize