What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
organizing the empties. That sober.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Randomize
