I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
