For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
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we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Houston, we have a blender
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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