I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
