that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
