Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
