Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
