If i come over, it means nothing
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
